Drinks, Demons And Kitten Poker
A 'Multiple Crossings General' fan-fiction story. Mostly 100 word Buffy and Angel crossover drabbles with The Shield, Deadwood, Hellboy, Rounders, The Drew Carey Show, The Sopranos, and Star Trek. Detailing my peculiar obsession with kitten poker. 'The Kitten Poker Drabbles', chapter 9 by trinfaneb. Spike winds up in a poker game with some demon pals of his, including Clem a friendly demon with saggy skin. Buffy keeps drinking and becomes annoyed when Spike won't take some proactive steps to discover her tormentors. Like kill someone for information. Spike tries to calm her down, but Buffy is drunk and frustrated and stalks out.
Spoilers- Anything before Hells Bells
Disclaimer- Me: Fanfic writer, Joss: Owner and genius creator.
Buffy Spike Episodes
Note- This is kind of an idea that has been knocking around in my brain since that scene in S4 when Spike and Anya are talking at the Bronze.
&&&
Anya winced as the alcohol burned a trail down her throat. She slammed the shot glass down on the bar at the Bronze and indicated towards the bartender for another. She watched as the amber liquid filled the glass, holding up a hand to get him to stay Anya downed the shot and slammed the glass on the bar, causing the man to wince.
'Again.' Anya demanded, her voice rough from the repetitive shots.
'Miss, don't you think you've had enough?' The bartender asked timidly.
Anya glared at him. 'No, now fill 'er up!'
The bartender tried again. 'Miss, I don't think-' He was interrupted.
'Don't think. Just give the lady her drink.'
Anya looked up. 'Spike.'
Spike nodded at her. 'Demon girl. You here alone? I thought you and the boy were joined at the hip these days, what with the two of you getting hitched soon and all.'
Anya downed her shot and placed it on the bar, never once looking at him. 'He's working late at a site.'
Spike straddled the stool next to hers. 'So you thought, what? Come to the Bronze and buy some overpriced drinks to keep you company?'
Anya picked up her glass and twisted it in her hands, staring at the small amount of alcohol that swirled in the bottom of the glass. 'I'm sick of stress eating over the wedding.'
Spike arched his scared eyebrow at her. 'So you thought you'd stress drink and get royally pissed instead.'
Anya nodded. 'That's the plan.'
Spike shrugged. 'Sounds good. Think I'll join you.'
Anya stared at him until he shrugged self-consciously. 'A fella has his reasons, not that I ever needed a reason to get drunk. 'Sides I can actually stand you; 1000 years of vengeance makes for some bloody interesting stories.'
Anya ran a finger around the rim of the glass and laughed bitterly. 'Xander never wants to hear my stories.'
Spike smirked. 'He's human, pet. Human's never want to be reminded of their own mortality.'
Anya glared at him. 'I'm human.'
Spike shook his head. 'Maybe physically. But you're something more, Anya. We both are. We don't belong here. We're bigger than this, better than this.'
'And yet we're both still here.' Anya commented.
Spike snagged a bottle of beer, ignoring the protests of the drinker, and took a swig, grimacing at the taste of cheap American beer. 'Ye-ap. We are Loves Bitches aren't we?'
Anya propped her head up with her fist and sighed. 'Oh yeah.'
Spike sighed and guzzled the rest of the beer. He looked around the club, eyeing the teenagers and early twenty-something's with distaste. His lip curled. 'You want to get out of here? All these giggling children are turning my stomach.'
Anya looked around and scowled. 'Please.'
&&&&&
'There now, isn't this better?' Spike asked as they settled into a booth, drinks of preference in hand.
Anya looked around, taking in the familiar sight of demonic faces and forms. She took a gulp of her wine and leaned back, a genuine smile on her face. 'Yeah, it is.'
Anya bopped along with the music from the jukebox as she searched through the crowd. 'Hey, I think I attended a massacre with that demon once.' Anya waved excitedly to him.
The demon looked at her, confused, and waved hesitantly back. Anya beamed and drained her glass.
'Whoa, Luv. Don't want you to pass out yet.' Spike pulled her glass away from her. 'You don't have the demonic constitution you used to anymore.'
Anya pouted. 'Killjoy.'
Spike chuckled. 'Just don't want to have to carry you home is all.'
Anya leaned back into the cushion of the booth and crossed her arms. She watched the demons come and go with nostalgic eyes, often getting caught up in telling Spike stories from her past. Spike would smirk and chuckle appreciatively at all her bloody and gory vengeance work tales.
Hours later when she and Spike were well past slightly tipsy and raring their way through drunk into completely shaggin' pissed, as Spike like to put it, through the entire din Anya made out the little mew of a kitten. She looked up and caught sight of a demon in an overcoat that wouldn't stop wiggling, a small ginger tail poked out of one of the pockets.
Anya grabbed Spike's arm. 'You know what I'd really like to do right now?'
Osrs ranged armor. Spike leered at her. 'I could guess.'
'Play some kitten poker.' Anya announced. 'I haven't played a good game of kitten poker in decades.'
Spike quickly recovered. He helped her to her feet, although he couldn't quite figure out how someone had slipped him a third leg without him realizing it. 'If it's kitten poker the former vengeance demon wants, then its kitten poker she shall get.'
Spike and Anya made their way unsteady to the back door and pushed their way through. A bunch of demons looked up nervously. Clem stepped forward. 'Spike, you're back. You didn't bring the slayer with you again, did you?'
Spike threw his arm around Anya's shoulders. 'Nah, just an ex-vengeance demon looking for a good time.'
The demons looked at the smiling Anya suspiciously.
'How do you become any ex-demon?' One of the demons asked.
Anya shrugged. 'Had my amulet broken. Time was when I could have wrecked a bloody massacre on this town, left it cursing my name.' Anya sighed nostalgically. 'Those were the days, back when I wouldn't have even blinked at the thought of eviscerating everyone at the Bronze and maybe collecting their intestines to make a coat out of.'
Spike sighed, clearly caught up in the image. 'Fun times.'
Anya smiled. 'Yes, they were.'
Clem shifted away from her. His hands hovering around his sides in an attempt to protect his intestines.
'Oh don't worry I only kill demons now. You know when they try to hurt my Xander or destroy my store. Intestines don't really work with this colour any way.' Anya reassured Clem earnestly while running her fingers through her newly coloured hair. She sat at the table. 'So are we going to play kitten poker or what?'
&&&&&
Anya squinted at the cards in her hands and stuck her cigar securely between her teeth. She looked at the kittens on the table then back at her cards. She surveyed her fellow card players; Spike had folded long ago so her main competition was Clem and a green-blue scaly demon with claws. She watched as the green-blue demon fidgeted under her gaze and Clem drummed his fingers against the table anxiously.
A smug smile crept across her face, after playing several rounds with them she had picked up their telling signatures. Over a millennia alive teaches you how to read people, especially in the wishing business. Anya set her cards in the table.
'Read 'em and weep, boys. Looks like I win again.'
&&&&&
Anya awoke with a groan. She pulled herself over to the side of the bed and let herself hang half off. A shadow loomed over her.
'I'm guessing someone had a big night last night.'
Anya groaned again at Xander's amused voice. Her brain pounded against her skull, begging to be let out and her stomach churned. She couldn't remember the last time she was this hung over.
'Ugh.'
Xander crouched down. 'I made you some of the Harris family famous hang over remedy. And I cooked you up a big breakfast to get you going.'
Anya attempted to smile at him. He really was a fabulous man, he was so kind and caring and he would make a great father some day.
'There's just one thing, Honey. Why is our living room full of kittens?'
Your top 10 Buffy/Spike Moments:
(People who's list has only 5 moments were originally from 'All Of You')
1.Rachel ll www
1. The scenes from 'Touched' in the abandoned house where Spike comforts and holds Buffy, giving her strength..especially where he tells her she's a 'hell of a woman.'
2. The church scene in 'Beneath You' when Buffy learns that Spike has a soul.
3. Willow's spell from 'Something Blue' that makes the couple think they're engaged. I especially love the bantering at the beginning.
4. The very end of 'Fool For Love' where Spike confronts Buffy on her back porch and ends up sitting with her instead of killing her.
5. The last scene of 'Intervention' where Spike reveals he didn't say anything to Glory and Buffy thanks him with a kiss.
6. The very end of 'Once More With Feeling' where we see their first intense kiss.
7. 'Chosen' -- their last scene together.
8. The last scene of 'Smashed' going into..
9. Their morning after scene in 'Wrecked'
10. When Buffy rescues Spike from the First at the end of 'Showtime.'
2. Andrea
1. Buffy tells Spike she loves him in 'Chosen.'
2. Buffy rescues Spike in 'Showtime.'
3. Spike's dream in 'Out of my Mind.'
4. Buffy tells Spike, 'I believe in you' in 'Never Leave Me.'
5. Spike and Buffy hold hands while they're on fire in 'Chosen.'
3. Rob
1. Kiss at end of OMWF. He eventually gets his girl!
2. I'm not ready for you not to be here' moment :-)
3. Kitten Poker.
4. End of Beneath You - 'Can we rest now?'
5. 'I'm using you William.'
4. Jodi
![Buffy spike kitten poker videos Buffy spike kitten poker videos](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/3f/f2/15/3ff21573c8afafd3ff69b0e647dfb4f8.jpg)
Anya awoke with a groan. She pulled herself over to the side of the bed and let herself hang half off. A shadow loomed over her.
'I'm guessing someone had a big night last night.'
Anya groaned again at Xander's amused voice. Her brain pounded against her skull, begging to be let out and her stomach churned. She couldn't remember the last time she was this hung over.
'Ugh.'
Xander crouched down. 'I made you some of the Harris family famous hang over remedy. And I cooked you up a big breakfast to get you going.'
Anya attempted to smile at him. He really was a fabulous man, he was so kind and caring and he would make a great father some day.
'There's just one thing, Honey. Why is our living room full of kittens?'
Your top 10 Buffy/Spike Moments:
(People who's list has only 5 moments were originally from 'All Of You')
1.Rachel ll www
1. The scenes from 'Touched' in the abandoned house where Spike comforts and holds Buffy, giving her strength..especially where he tells her she's a 'hell of a woman.'
2. The church scene in 'Beneath You' when Buffy learns that Spike has a soul.
3. Willow's spell from 'Something Blue' that makes the couple think they're engaged. I especially love the bantering at the beginning.
4. The very end of 'Fool For Love' where Spike confronts Buffy on her back porch and ends up sitting with her instead of killing her.
5. The last scene of 'Intervention' where Spike reveals he didn't say anything to Glory and Buffy thanks him with a kiss.
6. The very end of 'Once More With Feeling' where we see their first intense kiss.
7. 'Chosen' -- their last scene together.
8. The last scene of 'Smashed' going into..
9. Their morning after scene in 'Wrecked'
10. When Buffy rescues Spike from the First at the end of 'Showtime.'
2. Andrea
1. Buffy tells Spike she loves him in 'Chosen.'
2. Buffy rescues Spike in 'Showtime.'
3. Spike's dream in 'Out of my Mind.'
4. Buffy tells Spike, 'I believe in you' in 'Never Leave Me.'
5. Spike and Buffy hold hands while they're on fire in 'Chosen.'
3. Rob
1. Kiss at end of OMWF. He eventually gets his girl!
2. I'm not ready for you not to be here' moment :-)
3. Kitten Poker.
4. End of Beneath You - 'Can we rest now?'
5. 'I'm using you William.'
4. Jodi
1. The fight in 'Harsh Light of Day.'
2. The stair scene in 'After Life.'
3. The stair scene in 'The Gift.'
4. The kiss in OMWF. FINALLY!!
5. The whole final scene between B/S in 'Chosen.'
5. Jennie
1. Buffy's acceptance of Spike in the end scene of 'Intervention.'
2. The first meeting of the two in 'School Hard.'
3. Spike's confession at the end scene of 'Beneath You.'
4. Two-sided interrogation in 'Never Leave Me.'
5. Being reintroduced to one another in 'Afterlife.'
6. Trudie
1. End scene in 'Beneath You.'
2. Teaching Potentials and Buffy checks on injured Spike
3. 'After Life' - coming down the stairs.
4. 'Something Blue.'
5. Spike's dream in 'Out of My Mind!'
7.Elisha
1. Buffy and Spike in 'Flooded,' the way he pats her shoulder.
2. 'Never Leave Me' - Buffy wiping the blood of his face.
3. The wind rising kiss in 'Once More With Feeling' - the hero gets the girl.
4., Randy and Joan in 'Tabula Rasa' - The way they trust each other and almost kiss.
5. Everything about 'Dead Things.'
8.Caroline ll www
1. Scene in abandoned house during 'Touched'. Makes me cry every time.
2. Willow's spell in 'Something Blue'. You gotta love lovey-dovey Spuffy.
3. The scene in 'Potential' where Buffy's checking his ribs and he holds her hand.
4. 'OMWF'. Surprisingly, not the kiss. The part where she's about to go up in flames and he stops her.
5. 'The Gift'. when Buffy finally invites him back into her house and he's all 'I know that I'm a monster..' *sniff* *sniff*
6. The church scene in 'Beneath You'. I'm crying just thinking about it.
7. 'Showtime' when she frees him. DO YOU SEE THE LOVE?!
8. 'Chosen' - The last scene was good but also the basement scene where she tells him he's her champion!
9. 'Afterlife'. Do you see the tenderness in his eyes when she's walking down the stairs? So much love!
10. 'End of Days' scene when she and him have the whole 'maybe when..' thing going on. I LOVE IT!
9.Carly ll www
1. The 'Were you there with me?' 'I was' moment in End of Days.
2. Buffy defending Spike to Giles in 'Lies My Parents Told Me' - 'There's a connection between you'
3. The looks Buffy and Spike give each other in 'Potential' when they take the SIT's to the bar. It's just so 'Kids today, huh?'
4. 'God, help me Buffy, it's still all about you' in Sleeper.
5. Spike being jealous of Richard in 'Older and Far Away' - 'Ooh, Buffy, can I get you a soda pop? I think I'm in loooove'
6. The 'You're the one' scene in Touched.
7. The crypt door scene in Dead Things, the 'Do you even like me?' discussion and the hallucinations.
8. 'I love you' 'No, you don't. But thanks for saying it'
9. The discussion in 'Never Leave Me' about since Spike fell in love with Buffy he's 'Come to redefine the terms pain and torture'
10. 'You risked everything to be a better man. And you can be. You are' Love that scene.
10.Haley ll www
1. The scenes in 'Touched', obviously.
2. 'Chosen'. Need I say more?
3. In 'Potential' when they are demonstrating something to the potentials, and Spike is still hurt, and she tries to help him out, and he holds her hand..aww.
4.The end of 'Intervention'.
5. Their first REAL kiss in 'Once More with Feeling.'
6. 'Something Blue.'
7. When they bring the house down in 'Smashed'.
8. In 'Gone' when she rips open his shirt. Yum.
Buffy And Spike Relationship
9. When Buffy finds out Spike is in love with her.
10. When they tell Buffy's mom that they're in a band. :o)
11.Priscilla ll www
1. The whole 'giving the amulet' scene. 'That pride thing was just a smoke screen.' 'Thank God.'
2. In 'Fool for love', the porch scene.
3. 'Can we rest now?' Church scene in 'Beneath You'.
4. ---
5. Buffy re-invites Spike in her house in 'The Gift', and he swears to protect Dawn ('Until the end of the world, even if that happens to be tonight.')
6. 'Gotta hand it to you, Goldilocks. You do have bleeding, tragic taste in men.' In season 4, when Professor Walsh tries to kill Buffy. 'I got a cousin married to a regurgitating Frovalox demon that's got better instincts than you.' Hilarious.
7. Spike and Buffy sitting in the DeSoto during 'Crush'. 'Do you like the Ramones?'
8. Randy and Joan. 'Ready Randy?' 'Ready Joan.'
9. 'Lies my parents told me.' The scene at the very end. 'You try anything again, he'll kill you. (Robin laughs) More importantly, I'll let him.'
10. This would've been a lot higher up there if Spike hadn't returned for Angel in Season 5. 'I love you.' 'No you don't, but thanks for saying it. I wanna see how it ends.' Then he bursts out laughing and coughing in flames.
12.Mandy ll www
1. Abandoned house scene in 'Touched'. One of my favorite scenes ever!
2. Buffy saving Spike in 'Showtime'.
3. The ending of 'Beneath You'.
4. 'Something Blue'
5. Randy and Joan in 'Tabula Rasa'.
6. The kiss at the end of OMWF.
7. Buffy telling Spike she loves him in 'Chosen'.
8. When Buffy checks on Spike and he holds her hand in 'Potential'.
9. Bringing down the house in 'Smashed'.
10. Kitten poker in 'Life Serial'.
13.Enchantress ll www
1. Touched - you all know the scene! *Swoon*.
2. Showtime - where he realizes it's really Buffy who's come to rescue him and they walk off together.
3. Afterlife - where he gazes up at her from the bottom of the stairs, and then holds her hurt hands. aww.
4. Potential - the touchey bit at the beginning, and then the Amanda chat about the 'badness', and of course the 'When did you find his crypt comfy?' awkward moment later on. So, so cute.
5. Never Leave Me - 'I believe in you.'
6. Hells Bells - 'You Glow'. and all the sweetness that went on in that scene.
7. Life Serial - the kitten poker, and the bit before in his crypt. especially the dimpled smile he gives her. So, so cute.
8. Gone - naughty invisible Buffy and her naughty invisible fun with Spike.
9. Chosen - the champion talk.
10. Chosen - the bit where she goes down to see him. We'll never know what happened. but I love to imagine.
14.storywise ll www
1. Smashed sex scene.
2. Beginning of Wrecked.
3. Intervention Kiss.
4. Buffy/Spike interaction in Becoming II.
5. Buffy's dream sequence during Dead Things..especially the bed part.
6. As soon as the music starts playing -- Buffy and Spike place their hands opposite eachother on the crypt door -- all the way up until the song cuts off. (Dead Things.)
7. Conversation between Buffy and Spike before the Attempted Rape in Seeing Red
8. Something Blue - Spike's chained to Giles's bathtub and Buffy's all, 'look at my poor neck.'
9. Can I combine, Who are You?/Superstar into one? Those two epis' really established that there's a real mutual attraction there between them underneath all the bluster and bs.
10. 'I have come to redefine the words pain and suffering since I fell in love with you.' Spike's words to Buffy in Never Leave me.
15.Tami Brandt ll www
1) Buffy finally telling Spike she loves him in 'Chosen'
2) 'School Hard' PTA fight scene
3) 'Dead Things' where Spike tries to take care of everything for her
4) 'Becoming Part 2' when Spike forms a truce with Buffy
5) 'Fool For Love' when Spike shows her how the other slayers made a mistake
6) 'Harsh Light of Day' Fight in the Quad
7) 'Afterlife' when she confides in him at the end
8) Any Spuffy sex scene
9) 'Tabula Rasa' kiss
10) 'Into The Woods' when Spike alerts her to what Riley is up to
16.Jess ll www
1) Spike tells the scoobies how wrong they are for voting Buffy 'off 1630 revello' in Season 7.
2) Spike has a deep confessional with Buffy and heartfelt words following the scoobies casting her out.
3) Buffy sacrifices Angel to save the world.
4) Willow desperately misses Tara and loves her, all the while unknowning 'The First Evil' is toying with her mind.
5) RILEY FINALLY LEAVES.
6) Xander discusses Anya with Xander in 'Chosen' proclaiming 'That's My Girl..'
7) Faith at the end of 'Chosen' asks Buffy '..how's it feel?'
8) Willow & Xander's movie game in season two.
9) Buffy feels a little sibling rivalry with Dawn when Joyce refers to Dawnie as her 'lil' pumpkin belly'
10) Just about everything season two has to offer!!
17.kate ll www
1. Spike tells Buffy he loves her in 'Touched'
2. 'Angel said its belongs to a champion' when spike gets the medal in 'Chosen'
3. 'No you don't but thanks for saying it' at the end of 'chosen'
4. When Spike tells Buffy he saw her kissing Angel 'Clearly you don't cause the whole thing was a smoke screen' in 'Chosen'
5. The first time they sleep together in 'Smashed'
6. The kiss at the end of OMWF
7. When they sleep together at the back of the Double Meat Palace
8. 'I'm using you and its killing me,' when Buffy rejects Spike.
9. Kitty poker
10. When Spike tries to rape Buffy, (sounds weird, but very metaphorical, WELL DONE JOSS)
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